Rated 6.59 out of 10 Statistics
Overall Rating: 6.591
Average Rating: 10 (Guests), 2.5 (Members)
Rating Count: 3 (2 Guests, 1 members)
1 indicates a weighted rating.
Fragile Knights is no longer available online. This page is kept around for archival reasons and does not appear in our main index.
"falls prey to common writing problems" permalink
The website’s layout makes reading a bit hard on the eyes, and the prose fails to follow some of the basic rules of writing, particularly in regards to dialog tags (which aren’t capitalized properly, among other things) and exclamation marks (which are overused, giving the writing an over-the-top sort of feel that doesn’t work in the context of the storyline). Incorrect usages ("till" instead of "‘til" or "until," for instance) appear in the first page or so.
Aside from the issues of pure craft, the story starts off slow, with no clear hook. If it weren’t for the summary, I would have no idea that what the story is supposed to be about. The misdirection would be okay if the mundane portion of the plot didn’t drag, but it unfortunately does, with too much inconsequential dialog that reads painfully.
The writer would benefit from reading one of the many articles on the basic rules of writing available online.